Sigh. 1/30/22

Boop got a gift card for a climbing wall for her birthday, and we finally made the trip with a friend. I guess she wasn't feeling it today. She was anxious about heights, but she made it about half way up the walls anyway. I kept trying to encourage her, but I wasn't doing it the right way, she told me. 

 

She needed to get out. Very cold, below 10 degrees F in the early mornings. A fair bit of snow. It's been kind of miserable for me who is used to more moderate climates. Boop manages a bit better, but I haven't been able to get her out of my bed. With all of the snow days, she just camps out up there playing Roblox and Minecraft. I have to work, but I have been working from home a fair bit. I mean, I work A LOT, just sometimes at the office. I'm still hoping I can get a functioning PC at work. Looking back through emails, I haven't been able to use Adobe reliably on my PC at work since last summer; apparently the 8 year old PC just can't manage a newer operating system. Eventually, the stars will align, and I will be compatible with 2020.

Boop got COVID in January and tested positive the day we were supposed to fly out to California. I had a borderline fever on New Year's Eve. Boop never had a fever. It was hardly discernable from a bad cold/allergies. Thankfully, we were both fully vaccinated, and I was boosted. I never tested positive: either I had something else, or my timing for testing was off. Boop did test positive. Although school started back on January 3rd, Boop has barely been to school for a handful of days since before Christmas between ailments and school cancelations. 

I've learned not to be optimistic about people where COVID is concerned. Our area has a high COVID count, yet a majority of folks are not wearing masks. So many in the hospital have not been vaccinated--by choice. We all know that COVID is endemic, now. Somehow, I'm going to have to figure out how to travel. I'm still unsure about my trip to San Antonio. I wish I could go further and see folks that I've been missing. Things feel out of sorts in some quarters, and I really don't know how to rectify it.

I'm still trying to figure out what I want to do when I grow up. It's hard to know the next step. Boop likes it here and doesn't want to move. I appreciate Aunt D who runs counter to the push, "She is a kid, and she will be fine. She might even be better." 

Remember this guy? I think of him often:

What a way to go out...

   

An Anthem? 1/11/22

There's so much to unpack in Encanto. Like most of the world, we are Lin-Manuel Miranda fans. Boop first got to know his stuff from the Electric Company, and I know she's seen Encanto at least 3 times all the way through and has the videos on heavy rotation.

How many of my academia momma friends have been saying how they feel this song so much? Too many. And I don't hear it coming from other sectors. Boop likes the part where they are riding unicorns. She knows they don't exist. 

All the World is a Stage. 12-24-21

Some people enjoy putting themselves out there. We went to a Merry Crispness party or maybe it was a Merry Chipness party in celebration of Pringles at a neighbor’s house for Christmas Eve Eve. I wasn’t even close to the mystery flavors. Boop tried a tiny bit of one chip, which was a big accomplishment. She is working hard in OT. Although she’s started to have some social anxiety since the confinement, Boop is still quite the extravert. If she’s not out there in the mix, she’s more anxious. Fortunately, most of my neighbors these days are very kind-hearted and can manage both of us: her out there and me hoping that if I lean on the wall enough that it will suck me in. After she had chased the mini-Jeep around the circle, she was exhausted and conceded that she would go home.

This is all the news that is fit to print about us, I guess, here on my baby blog. I wonder what kind of distorted perceptions folks get from different slices of our lives? As bizarre as it might sound, I’ve suspected that more than one tribe is hiking up this creek, the existential dread. Who knows what perception folks have of me, or how they got it? This is all too self-indulgent. Mostly, my life is pretty plain; although a couple of folks can push my buttons. Angry, jealous me is rarely seen but is entirely unpleasant. And I rarely give someone the satisfaction to know that I was so affected. These days I’m trying to focus on the gains that Boop is making, rather than the frustrations. I have to think that 2022 will be better.

A belated Merry Christmas when I finally post this—across many ponds.

Cheese Abomination. 12/8/21

Recovery from my wrist surgery was a bit more intense than I expected; although I had the best-case scenario. I’ve been trying to keep up with work because so much has been happening. Basically, people have been acting of their own accord, not really understanding the consequences. 

It’s a snow day for Boop today, but I still have to work. I’m planning to take time off to try to help Boop with the Christmas tree. I’m having to do everything with my left hand, which leaves me with some gnarly muscles spasms in my left shoulder when I guard my other hand. That said, Boop does her best to help serve as an extra arm. She’s learning things. Maybe she’ll gain an appreciation for some of the things I do. Like making quesadillas: Boop lives on adrenaline and quesadillas, never mind that her quesadillas are essentially bean and cheese burritos. I was coaching her through the steps to make quesadillas. She explained that I needed to respect the proper ratio of beans to cheese, or it would otherwise be a “cheese abomination.” Yes, she is still 9 years old. And we are still working through plenty of food issues.

A cheese abomination is kind of emblematic of my life, I guess. Everything is out of balance, with not much control. I’ve been having nightmares about babies and animals that wind up in my care because others are neglecting them. In a recent dream, I felt like Old Mother Hubbard: I went to the cupboard to feed the pups, only to find that all I had were boxes and boxes of saltines. I keep getting more and more projects and trainees, and I can’t give them the appropriate energy they require. And much like the saltines, I might be a bit salty about it!

In the meantime, I'm guessing that I've hurt someone's feelings. If that's you, and you're reading this, I'm sending you all of the good thoughts and wishing you a Merry Christmas and all of the other good winter holidays. I remind myself that we'll get through this. After all, 2022 is anotha day year!

Another Halloween on the Books. 11/4/21

It's already November. How did that happen? I remember when my Brazilian roommate who was an expert in math education talked about how long a day, a week, a month is for a child. Time is proportional. If you haven't lived long, a week is enormous. A month is forever. When you're old like me, it feels like you blink and then the day is gone. What happened to August? It's nearly Thanksgiving.

The build up for holidays is big for Boop. It's like waiting for a pot to boil or for paint to dry. It can't happen soon enough. Boop seemed to enjoy her time well enough during the day, but I don't know how it felt for her. She loathed my perky chit-chat that I made with all of the kids that stopped by to Trick-or-Treat. I embarrassed her. I'm already embarrassing her. She's too young for me to be embarrassing her. She'll be 10 in January. How has it been 10 years? This is so trite. It's annoying when you hear people wistful about their past and how their children grew up too fast. And you promise you won't do it, too. And then you do. 

We stayed busy enough doing all of the Halloweenie stuff. I'm digging deep to find the energy--for everything, lacking sleep due to monitoring my somnambulant daughter. Thankfully, our neighbor took her Trick-or-Treating with horses and hosted us to carve pumpkins. Boop dressed up as Stitch this year, which surprised me. I didn't even know she had seen the movie. Maybe she senses a kindred spirit. 

We also did the neighborhood parade. Pinky was happy to join in and behaved herself well. She dressed up as a lobster this year.

After Mom had brought so much of my stuff from the old house, I was going to dress up in my graduation dress, but it was too cold. And honestly, it felt like too much work with all of the other stuff going on. So, I just sat bundled up on the porch in my N95 mask and blanket annoying Boop as I told the kids to watch as I sent the candy down the tube into their bags. Boop got a little candy, mostly the banana Laughy Taffy that she pilfered from my Trick-or-Treater bowl. Alas, we received no Brach's Turkey Dinner-flavored candy corn, but perhaps someone else did? 

Back to School. 9/26/21

Boop is back to in-person school, as anxiety provoking as that has been. Of course, we got something not long after she went back to school; so I kept her out for a week until she felt better. She had 1 negative COVID test, and I had 2 negative COVID tests. We both got through our antibiotics, but I'm still sleeping about 12-14 hours a day.

We're all feeling a bit bedraggled.

Thankfully, I've finished teaching but just need to wrap up grading. I'm trying to catch up on stuff around the house after the mess of the last few weeks. I managed to get rid of some things at the consignment sale, and after about a year of trying to find a support beam to carry the load of her swing, I wound up buying a frame and putting it together. 

And our sweet pup is starting to like me a little bit. But I'll be back on the evil list after this week. The humane society where we got her had some things confused. Eventually, she did get her dental and had all of her teeth pulled. The latest concern was when I thought she had a UTI. Turns out, she was never spayed; she's nearly 9 years old. The soonest she could get in is Wednesday. And the soonest we could get her in for a grooming was Monday. So, it will be a stressful week for our little doggins.

!Lo Hicimos! 8/23/21

It’s the count-down until school starts. I’ve already started and am half-way through teaching; Boop starts soon. Not going to lie, it was tough for me to lecture in a mask. The microphone wasn’t picking up my voice for the recording; so I felt like I was shouting for 2 hours. It was also exhausting to be on my feet and to have to talk for that long--completely draining when I haven’t done it for nearly 2 years. Thankfully, I wasn’t too anxious and didn’t feel like I would faint.   

Boop will be having open house soon to start school. I really wish we didn’t have to be in person. We’re a few weeks away from the peak of Delta here, and all of the hospital beds are full of COVID patients in our region.  Although I’m fully vaxed, I know my immunity is in the down swing, as it’s been about 6 months from my last vax. I guess I will be eligible for a booster in October. Boop still hasn’t had a chance to have the vax, and I don’t feel good about school for her. I hate that she will have to eat indoors without a mask. The schools seem resigned to just have all of the kids get COVID. I mean, the administrators have all had ample opportunity to get their vax. There is so much anti-mask sentiment here; it is unbelievable. The anti-science, anti-intellectualism sentiment is tough to navigate.

Boop went to horse camp and really enjoyed it. She was so proud of her ribbon for best technique while riding. It’s an expensive and time-consuming hobby, as we have to travel a bit to get to the stables. Being able to ride bareback is great and all, but I’m sure that she will want all of the special tack and such. The next thing you know, she will need a horse. This child and animals. If she can get over her squeamishness, she’ll make a good veterinarian. I suspect she takes after my dad in this way. He had a horse growing up and would feed every creature that passed by our house. Squirrels would eat out of his hand.

It wasn’t all kumbaya moments at the horse camp, though. She came home a sneezy, watery-eyed mess the first day. I promptly gave her allergy meds, and she was on the mend. With the threat of COVID, the horse camp’s previous experience with COVID, and a friend who was recently exposed to COVID from someone who thought her symptoms were allergies, I was insistent that Boop get tested for COVID before going back to the camp. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth, but with a promise of a Robux card from my mom, I got her to Urgent Care. Fortunately, the nurse was careful, and Boop was thrilled at her success. !Lo Hicimos! We did it! Of course, it was negative, but I’m glad we’ve gotten one test out of the way. She was ready for her next screen.