Even My Toys Were Rejected. 12-17-13

Tomorrow, Boop will be 23 months old. I guess I should feel some accomplishment in that, handful that she is. It won’t be any easier with the turmoil of the holidays. I have that chaos to look forward to, but I need to focus on positive things.

Today has been such a downer. I woke up and was reminded by FB that it is my cousin’s birthday. That’s good. Then, I remember that my dad would have been 64. I don’t let myself think about it. I got to work, sent a proposal for a class I’m teaching next year, but then found out that I need to re-do. Next, I found out that neither of my grants will be funded. Just typing it is painful. Such great news right before the holidays, groan. And yesterday, I submitted another smaller one, which I know has no chance. It was down to the wire, and one of the folks didn’t come through. It’s sunk, too. And over the last 3 weeks or so, I’ve gotten 3 manuscripts with revisions needed; some I don’t know if I can manage. One of the manuscripts is on its FOURTH revision. Honestly, just publish it already. We had about 5 people working on the last revision, and I just don’t understand it.

Okay, and so here is the crown jewel. I took some of Boop’s old toys to the firehouse to give to the less fortunate, and they wouldn’t take them. Apparently, this firehouse does not take toy donations. So, it wasn’t exactly as if they were rejecting the toys, but it could have so thrown me over the edge. Very awkward. They at least suggested some other places that might be interested. I want this stuff out of my way. Coming home to my toy-packed house is even more overwhelming. Every time I think about moving, I look at all of this stuff, and it seems insurmountable.

And so tonight, I’m meeting some friends, with little Boop in tow, to have a bit of dinner and hopefully a glass of wine. Then, tomorrow, I get to try to regroup and then be apologetic to those who were optimistic, to those who had also put some effort into this. Maybe I’ll devote a little more time than usual to finding a new career.