Ain't Misbehavin'. 5-6-13

Words I thought I’d never say, especially not at 15 months:

• Boop, you cannot climb into the dishwasher.
• Boop, you cannot step on the dishwasher door.
• Boop, you don’t need that dirty fork. Let’s put it back in the dishwasher.
• Boop, you cannot throw books at the dog’s head.
• Boop, Winnie does not want you to touch her teeth.
• Boop, of all of the yummy things Mommy gives you, why do you insist on eating dog food? I’m sure Winnie would gladly trade.
• Boop, you cannot roll around and smear poo on the futon while Mommy is trying to change your diaper.
• Boop, you either have to wear a diaper or use the potty. Those are your only 2 choices.
• Boop, you just fell off the porch and rolled down the stairs. Do you really want to do that again?
• Boop, who are you calling? We can’t call China tonight.
• Boop, why did you change the channel? Mommy doesn’t want to watch the Home Shopping Network.
• Boop, the toilet wand is not really a wand. It is not a toy.
• Boop, let’s put the lint trap back. Mommy needs to finish drying the clothes.
• Boop, please don’t dig in Mommy’s armpits. She hates that.
• Boop, don’t yank Mommy’s hair out. It hurts Mommy.
• Boop, stop throwing your head around. You made Mommy cut her lip again.
• Boop, please don’t, please don’t, stop! Don’t! Don’t! Why did you dump your fruit cup on the floor?
• Boop, you cannot get in the shower with your clothes on.
• Boop, please don’t eat your socks.
• Boop, you’ve got a boog. Let Mommy get a Kleenex. Wait! Don’t wipe your nose on Mommy’s—ew!—shirt. Hey, that wasn’t very nice!