Am I Blue, Too? 10-6-12

I must look overwhelmed. My friend, G, who had survived the recent trip to my aunt’s with Boop and me invited me to see the Blue Man group recently. It was a little awkward as she had given me the opportunity to order tickets with her for the season during the summer, and I had declined. At the time, it just felt so overwhelming to try to do anything outside of the house. Fortunately, since that time, Boop has been doing so much better.

Boop trying to nap at the Orthopedist's office

To be honest, I wasn’t sure I should go. I emailed my mom, and she said that she would watch Boop and that I should go. So, I took advantage of the ticket. Fortunately, I responded affirmatively before someone else in the office found out about the ticket, as they weren’t able to get tickets.

I tried to get the house reasonably clean, still terribly cluttered, but reasonably clean. And I tried to cook something. That way, Mom could eat what she wanted while taking care of Boop, and G could grab a bite if she wanted it. I made a decent veggie soup in the crock pot. Not a very big deal, I guess, but it was something that Boop let me get it done. I hadn’t really cooked since I had Boop and had wondered if it were even possible.

And so G came by to get me. She really didn’t know much about the Blue Man group, but it didn’t take long before we were up shakin’ our groove thing. One of our co-workers went with his teenage daughters. I asked if he got up and danced, and he said, ‘Of course.’ I was watching his teenage daughter out of the corner of my eye; she had that faint look of mortification and of a strong desire to run. And I couldn’t help but think of Boop as a teenager: what delicious things can I do to make her want to disown me? All in all a good night.

Clean Bill. 10-4-12

Oh my goodness. Fortunately, I remembered how long it took in Ped Ortho last time. I was looking forward to having this chapter over. I felt pretty confident that Boop would get a clean bill of health from ortho.

Boop dressed for her school photo

I was lucky to get a dog grooming appointment in the morning before the Boop's doctor visit. We got Winnie across town to the groomer at 9am, and Boop's appointment was at 9:45am. So, we headed to the office for a few minutes. I had to walk the hill of the parking lot (we were later, so the lot was pretty full), climb the outside steps up another hill, and then climb the two flights of stairs in the building. This was all accomplished with me carrying 21 lb Boop on my hip, purse, diaper bag, and umbrella stroller. The only thing missing was a large urn balanced precariously atop my head to provide water for a small African village.

We then made our way over to the clinic. And we waited. We completed our insurance information, and we waited. We went for xrays, and we waited. And we waited some more. Then, they took us to the room at 11am, and we waited. The fellow came in and did an assessment, and we waited. Finally, the attending came in and sat down beside her on the table. She listened attentively like they were old friends fishing off the dock, in her pumpkin hat and camo leg warmers. The fellow was cracking up at her. All clear. Good, good. One health issue off the list.


I made a quick pass through for fast food lunch, made a pit stop at the big consignment sale, did a quick run through, grabbed a few things, and then we went on to get Winnie. The road was like a parking lot, but we managed to get Winnie by 12:30pm. Then back through the traffic, traffic, and more traffic. It was already 1pm. I dropped Winnie off at the house, hoping that Boop could get lunch at daycare. Cranky, hungry girl. I don't blame her. We got Boop settled in daycare by 1:30pm. I got back to work, yes I went back to work, before 2pm. It felt like a million years since I was last here.

Writer's Almanac. 9-27-12

I was listening to the Writer's Almanac on NPR on my way over to my lunch nursing session today. I caught the poem from Sharon Dunn, "Genes." And then the last few lines: "He will make his own brave life, he will not remake our lives, nor redeem us, nor pity us." Wow.

That's definitely a challenge. I've always thought: "I don't want to be the best Mom; I want to be the best Mom for my child." I really don't care if I annoy the pediatricians to bits; I just want my daughter to be happy and healthy. And so it goes. 

It's so easy to want to try to recapture parts of your life that you think that you missed through your child--to want them to be more beautiful, more popular, and such and for that to reflect somehow on you. If Boop wants to be an academic great, if not great. As long as she can manage to have gainful employment and not do things that are unethical and immoral, I will have done my job. I hope she never feels that I am trying to live my life through her, or that she somehow has to save me from something. I hope that she can be her own person and contribute to the world in her own little way.

Shoulda Been in Pictures. 9-29-12

Mom didn't want her face in the photo.
A photo after the session...

My mom and I have a compulsion to take Boop’s photos all of the time. We have oodles. You’ve seen plenty on the blog. However, you may not have seen the ones we get from Wally World. We are there at least once per month. Some we like more than others. We had a new photographer this time. I can’t say I was excited about the photos he took. Some of them, Boop looks scared to death. Not sure how he managed that!

So, when I called to schedule last weekend, I had to try and pick a time that Mom would be here. I asked him about Sunday morning. There was someone scheduled at 10:30am, and they opened at 10am. I asked for the 1^st one, explaining that my mother needed to travel on Sunday. So he scheduled us at 10am. It took him 20 min. (after 10am) to get started; he was moving pretty slowly and spending a fair bit of time on the phone and such. After shooting the photos, we waited on him to download the photos and finish them.

While we waited, we tried to make small talk with the next family. The grandparents were talking the most. Well, it was mainly the grandmother. The woman was upset that we got the 1^st spot because SHE wanted it. Mom and I were pleasant.  UNTIL we got out to the car. THEN we let it rip—or let them rip—or ripped them. It started with me cracking up but saying nothing. I was just waiting for Mom to start. We made it to the stop light: “They weren’t nothing but snobs! Well, it was the grandmother...”

Clearly the woman thought they were better than us. I’m cracking up. The woman knew nothing about us—leading us to wonder a bit about how she perceived our situation in comparison to hers. Yep, she was clearly better than us in her cheap flip flops. AND getting their photos done at Wally World, no less; definitely the go-to spot for the well-to-do who want everyone to know how good they are. Poor little boy, he was named after an object that was a common farm danger; this in spite of the lady’s apparent displeasure with my child’s name. Boop was getting really fussy, and the rest of the family had left except the grandmother. Mom and I decided I should go ahead and nurse. I covered, of course, but part of me secretly hoped it offended her—and from what I gathered from the woman, it probably did ;) People are funny. She certainly entertained us.

Taking Stock at Week 37. 10-3-12‏

Here's what's happening at Boop's week 37:

• Winnie's accidents are about to drive me bonkers. She's having several accidents in the house per day. The bad thing is that they are frequently happening in the bed :( And it's both #1 and #2, excuse me for being 5 years old. Yep, the night before last I stuck my leg down in the sheets, and well, that's already too much information. So, differential: (1) she's acting out because of the baby, (2) she's having kidney problems, or (3) she doesn't want to go into the grass.
• Boop got me with her tooth today. I felt a twinge while I was nursing. Normally, this wouldn't be happening because her tongue would be in the way. But, my little chatterbox was trying to talk and nurse at the same time. So, I will be trying to keep her quiet nursing in the future to keep her from doing it again.
• Tomorrow is Boop's visit to the orthopedist about her hips. I couldn't figure out why they didn't schedule an x-ray. So, I just called over. Turns out, he may send us from the appointment. Note to self: Bring plenty to read. Last time, we were there waiting for our appointment for about 2 hours, I think. I tried to schedule us earlier in the day, but it sounds like that won't help us much.
• I called yesterday about the dependent care flexible spending account. I signed up for it. I've been paying into it. I've submitted claims for it. BUT I haven't received any money from it. When I called, they said they hadn't received anything. So, more spinning my wheels. Hopefully, we'll be reimbursed soon. I've got a big hospital bill to pay!

Milk, Milk, Milk. 9-26-12

Last week was a bit of a problem. I kind of hate to rehearse it in a blog, but I guess I will. So, Boop turned 8 months last week, and I was informed that she would have to go up to 6-8 oz of formula at daycare. We were doing so well on 4 oz twice a day. I nurse Boop at the daycare at about 8:30am; then, I come back at lunch and nurse around noon. Those feedings don’t count. She still has to be offered the full amount of formula(6-8 oz). This was the part of her problem when she first started daycare. She was being overfed: spitting up a lot and crying from being miserable. I didn’t want to go back to those days. Boop will eat whether she’s hungry or not.

So the daycare would not take my word for it. They would not allow me to keep her from being fed so much. I had to have a doctor’s note! Apparently, it’s a federal guideline. I don’t know how the school’s get around it. I don’t remember having to have a doctor’s note when I brought my lunch to school. It’s so unfair to nursing mom’s. I couldn’t believe it. Her doctor couldn’t either. She said that she really didn’t need the 4 oz, but I guess I had already made my peace with it.

So, her doctor faxed over a note to the daycare about maxing her at 4 oz. The next day, her teacher said that the note wasn’t adequate. It wasn’t detailed enough. That was incredibly annoying. It’s a shame that they couldn’t have just sent a note that said, “Good Grief! Just do what her mother says! You know that she is nursing the child!” A couple of days later, when I could carve out a few minutes <it’s not like I have nothing else to do, except deal with idiotic policies>, I sent a request to the pediatrician for another note. MERCY! I mean is the fed so anti- breastfeeding?? I doubt it. I wish I had time to pursue this further.

A Hiking We Will Go. 9-22-12‏

Taken by my mom a few weeks ago when we were back home

The students had planned a picnic at a nature area just out of town. The last time we did it was a year ago, and Boop was with me then--just not visible beyond ultrasound. I wasn't sure how all of the spicy Indian food would play out with nursing. I took it easy, and Boop seemed to do okay.

I was a few minutes late due to trying to get the salad together for the potluck. Boop was needing my attention more than I thought she would, but we managed. This would be inconceivable a few months ago. Fortunately, we were far from the last folks to arrive. 

I brought Boop's new-to-us Kelty along. We bought it off my friend, M, and it was transported from about 9 hours away to arrive via her mother and my mom. Maybe it was overkill for this brief event, but I wanted to try it out. I was wondering how I would manage to get it on, and I figured I would have lots of helpers there. 

Thankfully, we got it up and on. Boop seemed to like it. Folks said she was doing fine, taking it all in. I felt a tad off balance, but I realized after I took it off that I didn't have the belt on my waist. I probably should have looked up some directions online before trying it, but it seemed pretty straightforward. We didn't get to take a long enough trip, yet, but the leaves are turning. It's starting to look like good hiking weather.