Can’t Stay There. 10-14-12

A friend had sent me a note about a Liam Finn concert in Nashville. No matter how much I tried to get it to work, it came down to two issues: harassing Boop in the car or flying. Bless her heart, these long trips in the car seat are sheer torture for her. And the option of flying still will involve a pretty good drive to the airport, then the cost of the plane ticket, a dogsitter, etc.  It would have also been nice to meet up with my Mom and her sisters for a long weekend vacay a few hours away. I just couldn’t get it to work.

Happy Halloween! from Mommy's 'Lil Pumpkin and me

And then another scare with a high temp for Boop. It was still early enough to run to Urgent Care and not have to go to the ER. We got right in, they did a cath and checked her ears. Fortunately, everything looked good. Probably a virus she picked up from one of the kids from daycare or from the event at S’s farm on Saturday. Such a relief. So, we came home, and I gave her some Motrin. She’s sleeping, now, thank goodness, something she hasn’t been able to do all day!

All of this made me think about things I shouldn’t think about. My little munchkin, how attached I am. God forbid anything happen to her. Although she’s turned my life upside down, I wouldn’t have it any other way. What would I do without her? What if something awful should happen? I think about the stairs, about her trying to stand on the marble floors, about… Best not to stay there.  A million things could happen.

New Kitchen. 10-18-12

Well, my kitchen is near being complete after a couple of years. A friend of A’s at work told me about her friend that does odd jobs. Mainly, I needed the trim work done. The trim I want for around my counters is in a different state; so that needs to be done, but otherwise, the trim is almost done. I’m going to need to caulk and paint/repaint some, and install the door knobs. I was concerned about Boop and the pantry. I was just imagining a can of corn falling on her head. The work wasn’t without a few bumps in the road. The contractor had decided that I wanted folding doors, which I definitely didn’t want. The original person who did the work had offered to put them in for free, but I knew I didn’t want those. Now especially with the baby, I was imagining her fingers getting squished and pinched.

This was all happening in the backdrop of trying to get my grant out. It finally went in to the university on Thursday. I still have a few minor things left to do, but I’ve met my deadlines. It’s due at the agency on the 25^th. All told, I think I got 8 or 10 hours of sleep in the last 3 nights before the grant was due. Fortunately, I was able to find sitters to help me out. Now, I’m just trying to get caught up on my other work and stuff around the house. There’s still some trim work in the kitchen; so I’ll wait till then before trying to wrap up.

And then, there was another kitchen I needed to worry about: Boop’s. I was thinking I would get her a kitchen NEXT Christmas, but someone had one for sale on a Facebook mommy group. It was a decent price, local, and easy—except that I was trying to coordinate it in the midst of grant and remodeling. The woman delivered it to my house. I don’t know whether I should cover it with a sheet to ‘hide’ it from her. She can’t exactly use it, yet. She can’t even stand up, but it’s coming.

Down on the Farm. 10-17-12

Poor Boop was having such a rough morning. She couldn’t stay down for her nap. I had a million things to do to get ready. I wasn’t having much luck with some type of cookie or goodie to exchange. When you’re lactose intolerant, you always have to be wary of these sorts of events, or else be prepared to be sick. A doesn’t eat wheat—not sure if it’s Celiac’s disease, wheat allergy or just preference—so she wasn’t planning to make cookies. I should have done the same. I found a cute, Halloweeny cookie recipes for Monster’s Toes and bhg.com. They weren’t classically ‘good’ or ‘edible’ in the traditional sense, but they were festive. I thought they would be cute for kids, but of course, it was mostly a baby event. I got humus and carrots and pita to take as a snack, but it was so late by the time we got there that most folks had already eaten.

Boop was doing much better by the time we got there. I reclined her in her car seat, and she slept most of the way to S’s farm, a nice 45 min. nap. The colors were awesome on the drive;  I love this time of the year. When we got there, we toured around to see the new additions: more chickens and ducks, a new calf and another horse.  The horse let Boop touch his nose, which cracked Boop up!  Then, Boop went to play in the corn. Such a clever idea: they used corn instead of sand for the little ones to play in. Boop mostly just wanted to chew on the wooden spoon, though. After a while, we went on a hayride, and I wound up with Boop on one knee and a 2 year old girl, on the other. After looking around, I guessed her mommy wasn’t able to join us, but I had an extra knee.

Boop playing in the corn. She went as Tigger, but it was too warm by the  afternoon.

Before heading out, I tried some of the kombucha. I didn’t realize it was made with tea. I was concerned that the caffeine might pose problems, but after watching Boop sleep all of the way home, I figured we were okay!  

Taking Stock at Boop’s Week 40. 10-24-12

Here’s what’s happening at Boop’s week 40:

Grandma, save something for Santa!

• Winnie had another appointment with the vet last weekend. Apparently, the first course of antibiotics didn’t wipe out the UTI. Thankfully, all of her blood work came back normal. She has to take 3 weeks of antibiotics, now. It was hard enough to get her take one!
• Boop is getting into EV-ERY-THING! She’s getting very quick with the army crawl. She can cover a fair bit of ground in very short time, and she is climbing anything she can find. Batten down the hatches! She also doesn’t want me out of her sight. She gives the most pathetic cry when I try to sit her down for a few seconds.
• Two teeth. They are finally coming in. And so we’re experimenting with food. I got her some of the little banana puffs, and she was just able to coordinate her hand and mouth tonight. We also go her some of the jars of chicken with veggies (level 2). She seemed to tolerate it pretty well.
• My grant went out on Monday, thank goodness. Today was my late day with class. Now I have little break to get caught up for a few days. I meet about the next grant on Monday. One of my classes finished on Monday. 

Blur Week. 10-14-12

Hm. Blur Week. I wish that meant that I had seen Blur this past week—Parklife!--, but unfortunately, it’s more a statement of the chaos. I’ll be so glad when one of my classes is over.  Plus, I have a grant due next week. Plus, I had to give a talk this week. Plus, I have to give a talk next week. It never ends. I was also trying to come to the house before or after I nursed Boop to make sure Winnie got a chance to go out. Thankfully, Winnie is having fewer and fewer accidents in the house. I haven’t seen any in the bed for several days. That was the pits, constantly having to strip down the beds and wash everything. I’ve got one more load of blankets to do, but I’m through with most of the laundry from that time. I had hoped that I would get a chance to wash the futon cover at the Laundromat, but that may need to wait for Mom to come back.

Boop has been doing pretty well. I know it’s tough on her when I have to change her schedule, especially stay late. I remember being on the second run of the bus and having to stay behind while all of the other kids left school, and I was even older. Fortunately, Boop is fairly adaptable about these things. Our reduced formula has been working out pretty well. They give her an extra bottle on my late days, and that seems to help her make it until I get to daycare. I keep telling myself it won’t be much longer until my classes slack up, and Boop won’t be nursing so much for much longer. She’s nearly 9 months old. 

Experiencing Fall. 10-14-12

So, after our trip to the play area with S and A and their little boys, I realized it wasn’t far from the rib place that Mom likes. She had requested it, which was a shock. So, we zigzagged the windy road to the restaurant in a nearby town. The place was empty, thankfully, as I am never sure how Boop will act. She did just fine until we about finished eating, and then I had to take her out to nurse her.

Mom hadn’t been to the national park nearby. I was so excited about the prospects of beautiful fall color. She wasn’t enthused about going, but I talked her into it. It was only about 15 min. from the rib place; so it made sense to go then. As we climbed up in altitude, things were still pretty green, which surprised me. However, there was enough change in color to know it was fall. I really don’t like the scenery as much when it is considered ‘peak’ anyway, as there are so many empty trees.

Even though they had predicted rain, the weather was lovely and sunny and just a bit cool. We managed to find a parking space reasonably close to the scenic overlook. I think Mom was really surprised. Well, I don’t think, I know she was surprised because she said, “I’m really surprised.” She enjoyed our time there but was a bit sad that her back and joint issues prevented her from exploring some of the trails. Boop was sleeping most of the time, but perked up and had a look around at the end. She had just been there a few weeks ago; so I wasn’t so concerned about her seeing everything.

Wired. 10-9-12

My mind is humming, and I can’t go to sleep. I’m exhausted. I’m feeling a bit moody. Winnie got up 3 times last night to go to potty outside. Although I’m glad she didn’t use the floor as her toilet, I do wish she could hold it a bit longer. And then on top of that, Boop still wants to nurse every hour or two at night. Then, she starts to cluster feed starting about 4am.

And work is intense. I have a talk at a conference on Friday, leading 2 classes per week, a grant due. Other reviews and such are hanging out there to be done. Then, tonight I got a couple of work emails about things going awry. I’m so thankful that my helper came over to babysit for a couple of hours. I was able to get some of my reading done for class tomorrow, even though it was a bit noisy hanging around. I feel a bit stuck.

It freaked me out that when I went to the daycare to nurse Boop at lunch, that it took me a minute to realize that she was sitting right in front me. Goodness, don’t I recognize my own child? She seems to be doing okay in spite of my stress. I should take consolation in that. 

Boop is 9 Months Old Today!! 10-18-12

Taking Stock at Boop’s Week 39. 10-18-12

My fave photo from S's farm last weekend

Here’s what’s happening at Boop’s week 39:

• Winnie has been much better about going outside to the bathroom. She finished her antibiotics. The scratching, biting and licking is still with us. I need to find out what was giving her those 3 days that decreased those behaviors so much. I hope we aren’t dealing with bigger kidney problems. We need to follow up this weekend.
• Boop’s tooth is really starting show. Her hair looks more blonde, and it’s coming in with loose curls. I love her little cheeks, which is only complemented by her little smiles. Is it wrong of me to enjoy all of the folks who make silly faces and such on our trips through Wally World? An older woman was tooling around in her motorized vehicle and found us in the baby food section. It’s all fine, but you know, there’s always that little fear about the crazies out there. 
• As far as development, Boop is really starting to get in the groove. When the music starts/someone starts singing, she starts to dance in her seat. She is pulling up a lot and falling a lot <gasp>. Fortunately, no terrible injuries, yet.
• I will feel much better when my grant is in the hands of the NIH. It is making it's way through the internal routing system, mostly out of my hands. This was a tough one on us. I was fortunate to find babysitters to help me get some work done in the evenings/weekends. I can do small things at home with Boop on my own, but I just can’t manage the more intense stuff. It’s not fair to her, either. So, now, I need to try to get back on track with the house and all of the other work I’ve been putting off. Maybe I’ll be able to sleep and go to the grocery: the luxury! 

Baby about Town. 10-6-12

Up at the crack of dawn. If it’s a sale, we’re motivated. There was a large consignment sale. I had gone earlier in the week when there was a lot more stuff. It was pretty slim pickin’s by the time we went back, but it was half off. So, we had to try. We found a few little things. We found Boop a Dora the Explorer tub toy with Diego. It’s too big for her little tub; so I may have to try her in the regular tub to see how she does.

After our adventure, I dropped Mom and the baby off at the house and took Winnie to the vet. Fortunately, the guy there was able to manage to get a container under Winnie while she was using the bathroom. When the vet came in, he said she had a UTI. Maybe this will explain her frequent accidents. Poor thing, she must be miserable.

Then, we went to a play area to meet our friends S with her little boy H and A with her little boy P. They were our yoga buddies, and I love how they are so laid back and have a handle on the bigger picture. It’s refreshing, particularly at their age. They are quite a bit younger than me but have their act pretty well together. Mom watched as we played. I love how well P is getting around; Boop won’t be too far behind, I think.

Last Weekend. 10-6-12

Occasionally, I try to do something nice for the new students. However, I don’t want to do it too frequently—or else I’ll lose my ‘rep’ as a mean old lady! I feel a bit like a Pharisee talking about the event last weekend, but here goes.

Boop having a little 'nightcap'...

We have a couple of new international students this year, and I invited them out for lunch. So, we went to a local pizza place, which I thought would be informal enough for families. The little ones were so cute, if not a bit bashful and uncomfortable speaking English. I tried to get a little bit of everything for them to try and hopefully find something that they would like. Thankfully, most things they seemed to like and seemed to enjoy themselves.

Of course, the best things were the glorified gumball machines that had toys in them on the way out the door. They must have thought it was like a lottery where you put a quarter in and may not get anything; so they were thrilled when actual toys came out. Had I known that they would have been so excited with a quarter toy, I would have started it earlier in the visit!

End of Summer. 10-12-12

Poor little girl with no toys...

Taking Stock at Boop’s Week 38. 10-10-12

Here’s what’s happening at Boop’s week 38:

• Winnie is on the mend. Fewer accidents in the house. I miss the anti-inflammatories that she was on for 3 days. She calmed down so much. She’s back to scratching and picking. We have to follow up weekend after next to see about her kidneys.
• Boop is maintaining her weight pretty well even though we’ve cut back her formula a bit, and she’s moving more. She’s trying hard to pull herself up and can get most of the way on her own. By Christmas, she’ll be up and about. Watch out Christmas tree!
• We’re gearing up for Halloween. I’ve got my candy for trick-or-treaters. Boop had some photos made in her zebra costume. Hopefully, I can fix the leg of her Tigger costume for the Halloween party this weekend. Then, there is trick or treating at the student’s week after next.
• And me, well, if I can just make it through the next 2 weeks… Fortunately, my helper was able to babysit last night so I could prep for class. She’s on call for a few other times over the course of the next 2 weeks as I try to get the grant finished.

Am I Blue, Too? 10-6-12

I must look overwhelmed. My friend, G, who had survived the recent trip to my aunt’s with Boop and me invited me to see the Blue Man group recently. It was a little awkward as she had given me the opportunity to order tickets with her for the season during the summer, and I had declined. At the time, it just felt so overwhelming to try to do anything outside of the house. Fortunately, since that time, Boop has been doing so much better.

Boop trying to nap at the Orthopedist's office

To be honest, I wasn’t sure I should go. I emailed my mom, and she said that she would watch Boop and that I should go. So, I took advantage of the ticket. Fortunately, I responded affirmatively before someone else in the office found out about the ticket, as they weren’t able to get tickets.

I tried to get the house reasonably clean, still terribly cluttered, but reasonably clean. And I tried to cook something. That way, Mom could eat what she wanted while taking care of Boop, and G could grab a bite if she wanted it. I made a decent veggie soup in the crock pot. Not a very big deal, I guess, but it was something that Boop let me get it done. I hadn’t really cooked since I had Boop and had wondered if it were even possible.

And so G came by to get me. She really didn’t know much about the Blue Man group, but it didn’t take long before we were up shakin’ our groove thing. One of our co-workers went with his teenage daughters. I asked if he got up and danced, and he said, ‘Of course.’ I was watching his teenage daughter out of the corner of my eye; she had that faint look of mortification and of a strong desire to run. And I couldn’t help but think of Boop as a teenager: what delicious things can I do to make her want to disown me? All in all a good night.

Clean Bill. 10-4-12

Oh my goodness. Fortunately, I remembered how long it took in Ped Ortho last time. I was looking forward to having this chapter over. I felt pretty confident that Boop would get a clean bill of health from ortho.

Boop dressed for her school photo

I was lucky to get a dog grooming appointment in the morning before the Boop's doctor visit. We got Winnie across town to the groomer at 9am, and Boop's appointment was at 9:45am. So, we headed to the office for a few minutes. I had to walk the hill of the parking lot (we were later, so the lot was pretty full), climb the outside steps up another hill, and then climb the two flights of stairs in the building. This was all accomplished with me carrying 21 lb Boop on my hip, purse, diaper bag, and umbrella stroller. The only thing missing was a large urn balanced precariously atop my head to provide water for a small African village.

We then made our way over to the clinic. And we waited. We completed our insurance information, and we waited. We went for xrays, and we waited. And we waited some more. Then, they took us to the room at 11am, and we waited. The fellow came in and did an assessment, and we waited. Finally, the attending came in and sat down beside her on the table. She listened attentively like they were old friends fishing off the dock, in her pumpkin hat and camo leg warmers. The fellow was cracking up at her. All clear. Good, good. One health issue off the list.


I made a quick pass through for fast food lunch, made a pit stop at the big consignment sale, did a quick run through, grabbed a few things, and then we went on to get Winnie. The road was like a parking lot, but we managed to get Winnie by 12:30pm. Then back through the traffic, traffic, and more traffic. It was already 1pm. I dropped Winnie off at the house, hoping that Boop could get lunch at daycare. Cranky, hungry girl. I don't blame her. We got Boop settled in daycare by 1:30pm. I got back to work, yes I went back to work, before 2pm. It felt like a million years since I was last here.

Writer's Almanac. 9-27-12

I was listening to the Writer's Almanac on NPR on my way over to my lunch nursing session today. I caught the poem from Sharon Dunn, "Genes." And then the last few lines: "He will make his own brave life, he will not remake our lives, nor redeem us, nor pity us." Wow.

That's definitely a challenge. I've always thought: "I don't want to be the best Mom; I want to be the best Mom for my child." I really don't care if I annoy the pediatricians to bits; I just want my daughter to be happy and healthy. And so it goes. 

It's so easy to want to try to recapture parts of your life that you think that you missed through your child--to want them to be more beautiful, more popular, and such and for that to reflect somehow on you. If Boop wants to be an academic great, if not great. As long as she can manage to have gainful employment and not do things that are unethical and immoral, I will have done my job. I hope she never feels that I am trying to live my life through her, or that she somehow has to save me from something. I hope that she can be her own person and contribute to the world in her own little way.

Shoulda Been in Pictures. 9-29-12

Mom didn't want her face in the photo.
A photo after the session...

My mom and I have a compulsion to take Boop’s photos all of the time. We have oodles. You’ve seen plenty on the blog. However, you may not have seen the ones we get from Wally World. We are there at least once per month. Some we like more than others. We had a new photographer this time. I can’t say I was excited about the photos he took. Some of them, Boop looks scared to death. Not sure how he managed that!

So, when I called to schedule last weekend, I had to try and pick a time that Mom would be here. I asked him about Sunday morning. There was someone scheduled at 10:30am, and they opened at 10am. I asked for the 1^st one, explaining that my mother needed to travel on Sunday. So he scheduled us at 10am. It took him 20 min. (after 10am) to get started; he was moving pretty slowly and spending a fair bit of time on the phone and such. After shooting the photos, we waited on him to download the photos and finish them.

While we waited, we tried to make small talk with the next family. The grandparents were talking the most. Well, it was mainly the grandmother. The woman was upset that we got the 1^st spot because SHE wanted it. Mom and I were pleasant.  UNTIL we got out to the car. THEN we let it rip—or let them rip—or ripped them. It started with me cracking up but saying nothing. I was just waiting for Mom to start. We made it to the stop light: “They weren’t nothing but snobs! Well, it was the grandmother...”

Clearly the woman thought they were better than us. I’m cracking up. The woman knew nothing about us—leading us to wonder a bit about how she perceived our situation in comparison to hers. Yep, she was clearly better than us in her cheap flip flops. AND getting their photos done at Wally World, no less; definitely the go-to spot for the well-to-do who want everyone to know how good they are. Poor little boy, he was named after an object that was a common farm danger; this in spite of the lady’s apparent displeasure with my child’s name. Boop was getting really fussy, and the rest of the family had left except the grandmother. Mom and I decided I should go ahead and nurse. I covered, of course, but part of me secretly hoped it offended her—and from what I gathered from the woman, it probably did ;) People are funny. She certainly entertained us.

Taking Stock at Week 37. 10-3-12‏

Here's what's happening at Boop's week 37:

• Winnie's accidents are about to drive me bonkers. She's having several accidents in the house per day. The bad thing is that they are frequently happening in the bed :( And it's both #1 and #2, excuse me for being 5 years old. Yep, the night before last I stuck my leg down in the sheets, and well, that's already too much information. So, differential: (1) she's acting out because of the baby, (2) she's having kidney problems, or (3) she doesn't want to go into the grass.
• Boop got me with her tooth today. I felt a twinge while I was nursing. Normally, this wouldn't be happening because her tongue would be in the way. But, my little chatterbox was trying to talk and nurse at the same time. So, I will be trying to keep her quiet nursing in the future to keep her from doing it again.
• Tomorrow is Boop's visit to the orthopedist about her hips. I couldn't figure out why they didn't schedule an x-ray. So, I just called over. Turns out, he may send us from the appointment. Note to self: Bring plenty to read. Last time, we were there waiting for our appointment for about 2 hours, I think. I tried to schedule us earlier in the day, but it sounds like that won't help us much.
• I called yesterday about the dependent care flexible spending account. I signed up for it. I've been paying into it. I've submitted claims for it. BUT I haven't received any money from it. When I called, they said they hadn't received anything. So, more spinning my wheels. Hopefully, we'll be reimbursed soon. I've got a big hospital bill to pay!

Milk, Milk, Milk. 9-26-12

Last week was a bit of a problem. I kind of hate to rehearse it in a blog, but I guess I will. So, Boop turned 8 months last week, and I was informed that she would have to go up to 6-8 oz of formula at daycare. We were doing so well on 4 oz twice a day. I nurse Boop at the daycare at about 8:30am; then, I come back at lunch and nurse around noon. Those feedings don’t count. She still has to be offered the full amount of formula(6-8 oz). This was the part of her problem when she first started daycare. She was being overfed: spitting up a lot and crying from being miserable. I didn’t want to go back to those days. Boop will eat whether she’s hungry or not.

So the daycare would not take my word for it. They would not allow me to keep her from being fed so much. I had to have a doctor’s note! Apparently, it’s a federal guideline. I don’t know how the school’s get around it. I don’t remember having to have a doctor’s note when I brought my lunch to school. It’s so unfair to nursing mom’s. I couldn’t believe it. Her doctor couldn’t either. She said that she really didn’t need the 4 oz, but I guess I had already made my peace with it.

So, her doctor faxed over a note to the daycare about maxing her at 4 oz. The next day, her teacher said that the note wasn’t adequate. It wasn’t detailed enough. That was incredibly annoying. It’s a shame that they couldn’t have just sent a note that said, “Good Grief! Just do what her mother says! You know that she is nursing the child!” A couple of days later, when I could carve out a few minutes <it’s not like I have nothing else to do, except deal with idiotic policies>, I sent a request to the pediatrician for another note. MERCY! I mean is the fed so anti- breastfeeding?? I doubt it. I wish I had time to pursue this further.

A Hiking We Will Go. 9-22-12‏

Taken by my mom a few weeks ago when we were back home

The students had planned a picnic at a nature area just out of town. The last time we did it was a year ago, and Boop was with me then--just not visible beyond ultrasound. I wasn't sure how all of the spicy Indian food would play out with nursing. I took it easy, and Boop seemed to do okay.

I was a few minutes late due to trying to get the salad together for the potluck. Boop was needing my attention more than I thought she would, but we managed. This would be inconceivable a few months ago. Fortunately, we were far from the last folks to arrive. 

I brought Boop's new-to-us Kelty along. We bought it off my friend, M, and it was transported from about 9 hours away to arrive via her mother and my mom. Maybe it was overkill for this brief event, but I wanted to try it out. I was wondering how I would manage to get it on, and I figured I would have lots of helpers there. 

Thankfully, we got it up and on. Boop seemed to like it. Folks said she was doing fine, taking it all in. I felt a tad off balance, but I realized after I took it off that I didn't have the belt on my waist. I probably should have looked up some directions online before trying it, but it seemed pretty straightforward. We didn't get to take a long enough trip, yet, but the leaves are turning. It's starting to look like good hiking weather.