Boop is clearly a little fighter, a 'spitfire', as my mom proclaimed. I'm so proud that Boop has hung in here this long. It's really more than I could have hoped at this point in my life. I'm so grateful in spite of all of the complications. I'm functional. There are people that are in worse shape than me. What is the expression, 'full of piss and vinegar?' I'll take it!
My OLD friend S (she's 2 months older than me; so that makes her OLD) reminded me that life is unpredictable and that I need to enjoy the time that I have. We're so different. I'm the planner; she's carpe diem. It's good to check in with her from time to time to get a different perspective. I have been so careful with every little detail; re-reading my Lehman's Embryology to cautiously monitor milestones; supplementing my previous genetic counseling training with Internet images of embryos and fetuses on ultrasound; doing all of the crazy, unscientific surveys of whether I will have a girl or a boy; stressing over how on earth I could be a good momma to a little boy <note: gender still unknown!> when I have so little experience...
At some point, I just need to let nature take its course. I'm using the whole medicalization of pregnancy as a crutch because it helps me impose some control over a situation that is essentially uncontrollable. You know, it's up to the powers that be. I can't help but think that karma must work in my favor at some point. And God doesn't want to punish me. It's said that God doesn't give you a burden that He doesn't feel that you can handle. So, I can only hope that things will go well. Things will be clearer when I go for my next screen and OB visit.
I can feel the progesterone taking effect. It makes me feel a little loopy.
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