Tomorrow, I believe will be 10 wks LMP (or about 8 wks GA). So, Boop will officially be a fetus, as opposed to an embryo. I was looking around online at some of the freaky images. The feti? fetuses? look like little alien creatures. And then there are photos of expectant moms with their bumps. It's a little frightening, too. Fortunately, I guess, I don't look quite as extreme as those women. My bump is quite small, and I don't think I look that big. Folks who see me may say otherwise...
It was a hard road to get to this place. I tried to meet the right guy, but I guess it just wasn't meant to be. And then there were all of the health problems. I'm not a young woman and got some pretty scary results from some blood tests ran by my GYN the end of last year, and I learned that I had POF (Premature Ovarian Failure, sometimes known by a kinder term: Premature Ovarian Insufficiency), which is a medical term for early menopause. My RE (reproductive endocrinologist) looked up at me, and said, "If you want to have children, you better start SOON." So, I tried to quickly get myself in gear. I had talked to a friend from grad school who became a Single Mother by Choice, and I joined their support group. Then, I prepared myself for the hard road ahead.
People often think, 'you should just adopt.' Well, unfortunately, it's not that easy, especially for a single woman. It's really expensive and takes a long time, if you ever succeed. Along with being single, with my health history, I don't know if I would have much luck. And there was the other bigger picture issue. I'm the only child of an only child; the last one left in my grandfather's line. Granted I have a wonderful extended family--lots of cousins and adopted grandparents, but part of me feels a bit like the Last of the Mohicans: Natty Bumppo or is it Chingachook?
So, I had tried to think of how far I would go. There are all of the celebrity women in their 40's and 50's getting pregnant. It's not a very realistic picture. Some women in their 40's are using donor eggs to get pregnant, a very expensive prospect. In my mind, I tried to figure what I would do to be a mom. Fortunately, I never had to get that far. I got pregnant on my second try! I was totally shocked. I never imagined it would happen this quickly.
I'm sitting here writing this for a few reasons. First of all, I'm not doing this for exhibitionistic motives. Those who know me well know that I am a very private person. And I hope that little Boop won't be too embarrassed by my efforts (well, except as a teen, where my every action will undoubtedly be a source of embarrassment). Mainly, I hope that at some point, Boop will find some humor in the postings and know how much s/he (I'm actually pretty sure Boop is a girl) is loved. Another major reason is for connection both for Boop and me with my family who is far away. In spite of her valiant efforts, my mom can at times be an unreliable messenger. Now you can get the scoop straight from the horse's mouth! And I appreciate hearing from you: getting your thoughts on my reflections and getting your advice. SO, PLEASE COMMENT <see comment area below>! Again, those who know me well will know that I will listen, consider your suggestions, and then do pretty much whatever I want ;) I guess that's a mother's prerogative...
So excited for you!!
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