Shopping. 7-9-11

Today was the day I had planned to go shopping. I still may pull myself together and manage a trip. It's a bit ill-fated, though, I'm afraid. I used to love to go shopping. It was a coping mechanism for my mother and I after Dad was sick the first time. Times were a bit too tight for much shopping during college and grad school (I was an extreme couponer before it was cool), but things improved with my 1st academic job. Most of my funds were poured into my remodeling efforts, but there was a Kohl's on my brief trip back and forth to work. When there was a sale, I was there rummaging through the clearance racks.

Admittedly my love of shopping changed about 5 years ago. Every time I went to Kohl's, the next song they played over the speakers was a particular song by one of my favorite bands, every time I went. The first few times, I just dismissed it as a fluke, but when the 5th time rolled around, I started to get pretty freaked out. And later, it started to happen at Marc's too. Not that particular song, but different songs by the same band. Scared the ba-Jesus out of me. Anyway, it made shopping a lot less pleasant. Although I give the opening scene of Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead some credit (the scene where they are betting on the flips of the coin, and every time the coin turns up heads, like a hundred times, by chance), it's incredibly unlikely. Definitely surreal.

And then, I woke up this morning to more spotting. It's hard to think about going shopping for baby shower gifts, when your own is having such a tough time. The shower was actually last Tuesday at work, but after spending the evening in the ER last Monday, I just couldn't get myself together for it. 3 people at one time--they don't even know about me yet. There may be a few others floating around, too. It's in the water we drink at work. They serve a special fertility water at the cafeteria. If you're having fertility issues, you should come and try some ;) Personally, at this point, I'm more concerned about the staying pregnant, than the getting pregnant, part.