Birthin' Babies. 11-11-11

Grrrr. I lost my post about my visit with the doula on Wednesday. I'm not sure what exactly happened to it. I think it was a casualty of an automatic restart with no back up :( I have no hope of reconstructing it because it's been two days ago!
The doula was the only name that had popped into the midwife's head during my last clinic visit. So I figured it was a good sign. I looked her up on the DONA website and sent her an email asking about her services. In her reply, she suggested that we meet, and so she suggested Panera.
We discussed all of the challenges I anticipate with giving birth: being on my own, most of my good friends being single and/or not having children of their own--making it hard for them to anticipate my needs, my family being far away, concern about my mom trying to come through the mountains in January with unpredictable weather, all of my health conditions including arthritis, and so on. I also wanted to communicate to her that I really wasn't interested in natural childbirth ;) She wasn't so convinced. And I also tested her out on something that my yoga instructor had mentioned, that 'failure to progress' was really in the head of the mother. Good Heavens, with all the difficulty giving birth, I don't want to be blamed if there are complications! And she agreed that in many cases it was more psychological than physical. I wonder how common this belief is among doula folk.
So, we talked more about logistics. She gave a contract of her services. Based on what I was seeing, doula services ranged from from $250-$500. Her rates were at the upper end, and it included an initial assessment, birth, and a visit a few weeks after birth. That gave me pause. In addition, she lives in the next town, but on the positive side, she has 4-wheel drive. However, it will likely take her at least 30 min. to get to me in ideal conditions. Perhaps the greatest concern is that she has another person already on her calendar with a due date 1 day from mine. The other person has first dibs on her services, and she has no back-up. The doula was supposed to be my back-up, and it doesn't look like that is very reliable. So, it doesn't sound like this is the reassurance I was looking for, as much as I would be spending.