Yesterday was one of those days where I felt like folks were poking me with needles to see how I would respond. If I admit I care, I only open myself up to more trouble. I've felt very foggy the last couple of days; a weather front was moving in. Chilly and wet. I know what season it is, and what is coming in the next few weeks. At least Boop entertains me with her little kicks, and I'm reflecting on birthdays.
I don't fully understand what is going on, but I'm just having to manage it as it comes. There might be some who take pleasure in that unknown, but I don't. It's a quieter day today. They are going to do another ultrasound in a couple of weeks. Hopefully, they'll be able to get Boop's profile this time, and she won't keep putting her tiny hands in the way of her face. I hated that we had to keep harrassing her.
And so birthdays, they're filled with so much pressure and expectation. I'm a little freaked out at the thought of giving birth. I need to start making my birth plan more definite, but I haven't jumped in. Right now, there is a lot going on, and I'm just trying to make it day to day. Trying to figure out what I'm doing in the next month, if I can manage the family reunion <not sure yet when it is> and if I can manage a trip to visit friends. And then the holidays... And then a big birthday, insha'Allah.
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