Mini Freak Out. 12-7-11

I had a helper over tonight. I still have so much to do on the house, but my funds are not in great shape due to paying for life insurance and a more expensive drywall bill than expected. So, I’m having to slow down a bit. There are still so many things on my ‘to do’ list, and I’m not making much progress. The painting still isn’t done. It’s killing me that I can’t do it myself. It would have been done a while ago if it would have been un-pregnant me. Now, I look at the door that was missed, the paint on the floor, and the thumb-sized blotch of cream trim paint on the tan wall and can’t really do anything about it. It will have to wait until this weekend. More paint exposure for Boop, even though I try to stay away from it and open up the windows in the cold weather. And the ceiling in the living room still isn’t finished.

And then there’s the crib. I don’t think the sellers were honest with my mom about the crib when she got it. I couldn’t help but notice the smell when I took the blankets off and tried to put it together. I tried rubbing it down with vinegar with no luck. If I noticed it while I was putting it together, I can’t imagine my little Boop laying there surrounded by it and breathing it in for several hours a day. I have a few other cleaning products to try, but essentially, I’m out over $100 for the crib. And I don’t have a viable back-up option. I guess I’ll have to order something from the Internet L

And then there are the baby clothes. Boop has so many! I have no idea how big Boop will be, and I’m trying to get her clothes clean, trying to figure out what I should take to the hospital, wondering if she will be able to wear the newborn clothes. That’s when it really hit me. I’m washing baby clothes for my own little girl. And she will likely be here soon, in about a month. Nothing feels like it’s in the right place; everything feels so out of control. Mom called me: ‘Have you packed your hospital bag? You need to have that ready.’ ‘Winnie really needs to go to the groomer. You need to make her an appointment.’ It’s been on my list for a few weeks now. Unfortunately, I’m only one person, and the more I think about these things, the more stressed I get. My energy level is low, and I’m having a fair amount of pelvic pain. My friend from work, G, looked at me yesterday and said, ‘You look like you’ve dropped.’ I looked at her, and said, ‘Yeah, I think so, too.’ It’s going to happen whether I’m ready or not, and sooner, rather than later.