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| Loving her Bumbo from T |
I'm a bit wiped out. Boop wanted to nurse all
night long, and she cried every time I tried to move. It started yesterday
afternoon. I'm not exactly sure what was going on with her; she cried even
though I was holding her. A part of me wondered if it was my stress level. We
had such a nice day at the farm on Saturday. But Sunday afternoon, things kept
getting worse.
I was worried about my grant being due on
Monday. I made a few 'hail Mary' emails at the last minute on Friday, but folks
were coming through for me over the weekend. That helped with my stress level,
but grants are always stressful, no matter how much you think you're prepared.
And then the obvious, it was Father's Day. Boop and I don't exactly have
fathers (in different ways); so it was a little sad for us. The old cliche goes
through my mind: is it really better to have loved and lost, than never to have
loved at all? I wasn't really angling for that social experiment.
In spite of her challenges communicating, my
aunt R told me that she thought I would meet someone soon. She's decided that
it's going to be someone rebounding from a relationship "that's not so
good." She cracks me up, always has. I wish I were as confident as her
about my fate. I'm feeling very disconnected, but I have too much on my plate
to keep my mind in this place.
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